my heart ... the flips flops journey!

It started with BMRN. God,when I reflect back, I can't believe I was so in love with him back then. He was a nobody. I was in university. On my second semester when I get to know him in MiRC. It took me another two years to forget him completely. I was over him when I finally met my husband now. A man I met not via the internet. He was a real man. But what I am about to write here is not about my husband. It was about all the men that I fall in love with without even knowing and meeting them. The men I was in love with before I was a wife myself. BMRN is just a beginning in my chapter. I thought I have learn my lesson well. But I guess, I don't have a strong heart. I fall for the second time. This time around to a guy in a far far away land of United States of America. TRH. How can I explain my deep love for this guy? I was crazy head over heel in love with him. And almost ready to fly and met him and probably marry him if he's been serious about his proposal to me. It was beautiful. Yet..... Has become so painful too! That maybe I will share in the next entry.