Tuesday, December 18, 2012
my heart ... the flips flops journey!
It started with BMRN.
God,when I reflect back, I can't believe I was so in love with him back then. He was a nobody. I was in university. On my second semester when I get to know him in MiRC.
It took me another two years to forget him completely.
I was over him when I finally met my husband now. A man I met not via the internet. He was a real man. But what I am about to write here is not about my husband.
It was about all the men that I fall in love with without even knowing and meeting them. The men I was in love with before I was a wife myself.
BMRN is just a beginning in my chapter. I thought I have learn my lesson well. But I guess, I don't have a strong heart.
I fall for the second time. This time around to a guy in a far far away land of United States of America.
TRH.
How can I explain my deep love for this guy? I was crazy head over heel in love with him. And almost ready to fly and met him and probably marry him if he's been serious about his proposal to me.
It was beautiful.
Yet.....
Has become so painful too!
That maybe I will share in the next entry.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Network of Lovers
It started with let me see ... oh ... that guy from Bandung that I fall madly in love with. LOL.
Then it become the series of love affairs ... and scandals ... and i don't know what else to call it. LOVE too maybe!
It's funny how this online love as i called it now can become an online love affair for me. One involve a very huge drama ... not in real life ... but ONLINE. :)
I guess it's normal to be attracted to someone that you knew online. Because its seems sincere. It comes from the heart. At least I felt it that way. I know that I only talk about what my heart felt at that time. I don't like to talk about everyday life, I just want to share what I feel. And it was nice. NO pretense. No lies.
To a certain point, these online lovers (as i like to address them) was my hiding place. I like to be with them (during the period of my online relationship with them). I love to hear what they have to say about their days. About how they missed me. And how awkward it was for them if they don't talk to me. And I know, I felt the same too.
With some ... it was only a short period of 3-4 months. But I have a history of online relationship that last more than 2 years.
Owh, don't get me wrong. It is not that I don't live my normal life. I do have a boyfriend and have sets of good friends. My social life was okay. But, it was the attention of being able to be in someone mind and head without even being face to face is a fascination for me. And I think, that is what get me hooked.
It all started in 1999. Now .. 10 years down the road ... I thought that I have matured and understand the way it works ... but it actually took a turn and my heart and action always surprised me the most.
Well, enough for an introduction. I tell more someday.
Oh yes, sorry for the heading. But my content of writing is not as extravagant as the SCANDAL you thought it would be. LOL.
Then it become the series of love affairs ... and scandals ... and i don't know what else to call it. LOVE too maybe!
It's funny how this online love as i called it now can become an online love affair for me. One involve a very huge drama ... not in real life ... but ONLINE. :)
I guess it's normal to be attracted to someone that you knew online. Because its seems sincere. It comes from the heart. At least I felt it that way. I know that I only talk about what my heart felt at that time. I don't like to talk about everyday life, I just want to share what I feel. And it was nice. NO pretense. No lies.
To a certain point, these online lovers (as i like to address them) was my hiding place. I like to be with them (during the period of my online relationship with them). I love to hear what they have to say about their days. About how they missed me. And how awkward it was for them if they don't talk to me. And I know, I felt the same too.
With some ... it was only a short period of 3-4 months. But I have a history of online relationship that last more than 2 years.
Owh, don't get me wrong. It is not that I don't live my normal life. I do have a boyfriend and have sets of good friends. My social life was okay. But, it was the attention of being able to be in someone mind and head without even being face to face is a fascination for me. And I think, that is what get me hooked.
It all started in 1999. Now .. 10 years down the road ... I thought that I have matured and understand the way it works ... but it actually took a turn and my heart and action always surprised me the most.
Well, enough for an introduction. I tell more someday.
Oh yes, sorry for the heading. But my content of writing is not as extravagant as the SCANDAL you thought it would be. LOL.
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